This is an old revision of the document!
Old Man Uke
An old man uke to me is a character over the age of 46 who I want to rotate in my head and bang against other Barbie dolls. It is one of my favorite types of uke.
There is a “gap moe” appeal between what normal society traditionally considers “cute” (tiny big-eyed baby animals), and the cuteness of an old man uke (crinkly elder sims). You will often see this “gap moe” in say, wrestling fangirls who think Abdullah the Butcher is super kawaii, or teenagers that have Gollum as their widdle huggable blorbo.
Examples
- Bruce Wayne in Batman Beyond (80+)
- Paul Heyman (60+)
- Willem Dafoe (69+)
- Basile (55+)
Old?
46+ years is the baseline for an “old” character. They must also be visible aged in some way - whether it's sag, wrinkle, gray hair, or baldness. So a 1000 year old elf doesn't count, and neither does Benjamin Button. Ideally they'd be over 55+ years old, and thus eligible for a senior discount at IHOP.
There is no one set personality type for an “old” character. I find “grumpy old characters beaten by time and experience” to be very cute, just as I find “genki optimistic characters that still believe in a brighter tomorrow despite the sands of time” to be very cute. As long as their personality is somewhat influenced by their longer time on earth, it's all cool.
Man?
The uke does not need to be a man. The uke can be male, female, none, and all. Ukes that I find appealing are often androgynous or play with gender presentation in some way. I will often call these characters “MILVES” no matter their gender.
Uke?
The uke is definitely a bottom. All my faves are bottoms, because I would like to insert bananas into their mouths to see how many would fit in there.
What are your favorite Old Man Ukes?
I think brock samson is more middle aged than old man but he is an uke im rotating lately. IG seems to think I want old Bill Idol uke and who am I to say no
He's edging in there! If him and Rusty are 43 and the beginning, and the boys age to college at 18 from 15… brock could be at the threshold of 46!
Also the William Idol cat in heat videos are crazy. He needs a qtip so bad
my old man uke, i think, (technically an old man verse BUT! but! i do love him as an uke, it is near and dear to my heart when he bottoms) would have to be dr. benjamin kondraki - a character from the group project horror fiction hub known as the scp foundation. he's an overweight fifty-something-year-old man with terrible eyesight, a combination of bipolar disorder AND undiagnosed adhd, a hub of camouflaging butterflies that hover around him, and he sort of hates everyone while maybe secretly caring about them deeply. maybe.
he threw cat piss at a vampire and rode around the unkillable, misanthropic lizard like he was in a rodeo. he is in his fifties at MINIMUM at this point and an actual dilf with a son in his late twenties/early thirties, draven = ) while my main blorbo falls more into the category of a /classic/ bratty uke archetype in terms of how i typically imagine or draw him, i do wish i could stuff kondraki into a pringle can and shake it violently.
The verse thing is a good point, I added a section to ## Uke? to explain that they don't have to be 24/7 bottoms, just bottoming when you think of them :D I love undiagnosed cluster B queens!
I love this page. My favorite old man uke is the fake persona that John F. made for Mono Puff that I just call Brother Puff. He is old and has an awful attitude and I want to tie him to a radiator. :)
That sounds wonderful! I love secret identities. Do you have a fav video of Brother Puff?
sadly videos are very hard to find of the band, but there are lots of blurry pictures!! https://teedeekay.tripod.com/1107flans12.jpg
damn ye tripod hotlinks.. but i got to the original site and the pics work there!
https://teedeekay.tripod.com/show23.html
i love cryptid uke… only viewable through blurry photos and whisper networks.